Sheldon's Quotes: Heh Heh Heh

www.the-big-bang-theory.com/quotes/character/Sheldon/2/


Sheldon: Why are you crying? 
Penny: Because I'm stupid! 
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.




Sheldon: I'm not insane, my mother had me tested!


Penny: Mrs Cooper? Hey, it's Penny. I think I broke your son. Hold on. (To Sheldon) Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: (Crying) Mummy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!


Sheldon: Under normal circumstances I'd say I told you so. But, as I have told so with such vehemence and frequency already the phrase has lost all meaning. Therefore, I will be replacing it with the phrase, I have informed you thusly.



Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for 'soup' tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not 'soup'; it's 'courage'.
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.




Sheldon: At my age do you know how I'm statistically most likely to die?
Leonard: At the hands of your room mate?
Sheldon: An accident.
Leonard: That's how I'm going to make it look.



Sheldon: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don't you think that if I were wrong, I'd know it?
Howard: Don't you think I should answer the engineering questions? I am an engineer.
Sheldon: By that logic I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.


Sheldon: I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
Amy: I'm listening.
Sheldon: With the understanding that nothing changes what so ever - physical or otherwise, I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as not my girlfriend. 
Amy: Interesting, now try it without the quadruple negative.


Leonard: Have you considered telling her how you feel? 
Sheldon: Leonard, I'm a physicist, not a hippie!



Sheldon: You know, in difficult times like this, I often turn to a force stronger than myself.
Amy: Religion?
Sheldon: Star Trek.


Penny (as barkeeper): OK Sheldon, what can I get ya?
Sheldon: Alcohol.
Penny: Could you be a little more specific?
Sheldon: Ethyl alcohol ... 40 milliliters.
U have to watch The big bang theory to understand Sheldon's feelings for his spot....
Wolowitz: But you love that spot.
Sheldon: No, I love my mother, my feelings for my spot are much greater.

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